The deep end

     Well, here I am in the deep end of the pool. The water is up over my ears and it’s hard to keep my head above water with one hand while I am holding my nose with the other. How did I get here? Did I jump or was I pushed? Neither….I was called.
One thing I have learned is that God can call us into situations that we would never in a million years imagine for ourselves. I am living proof of that. I have recently begun several new chapters in my life. I became a student again after many years away from formal education and am nearing the end of my masters program. I never imagined that I would finish college, never mind get a master’s degree, but God called.
I began leading worship at my church and women’s events. I used to be terrified to speak in front of people let alone sing and play guitar, but again God called.
Most recently I have been asked to step out of my comfort zone and do something new and different. This is the place where I find myself in over my head.
I am reminded of something a good friend shared with me – that God does not call the equipped, He equips the called. Yet despite my experience and seeing God at work in my life, I still doubt. 
New opportunities and new experiences can bring out insecurities and voices from our past that whisper in our ear the messages that are intended to sink us like rocks on the bottom of the pool and keep us from our calling and from glorifying God. They say things like, “You can’t do this, who do you think you are? And if only they knew the real you…”
 Yet I know that God is the one who brought this opportunity, He is the one who has prepared me and He is the one who has called me. So why do I question and doubt? 
Like Peter who stepped out of the boat to walk on the water to Jesus, I sink because I lose my focus and I take my eyes off of Jesus. One minute I am cruising along the next minute I’m soaking wet and way off course because I looked away. 
Have you ever tried to swim laps in a pool with your eyes closed? I have. Let’s just say that smashing your hand into the wall or swimming full speed into the person next to you is no fun. And so it goes with our faith and our ability to follow Jesus. We have to train ourselves to keep our eyes on Him at all times, even when we are operating in our giftedness (especially then).  So what next?  Well for starters Jesus didn’t throw me in the deep end to watch me drown. He called me there to strengthen me. He desires to see me step out in faith – believing that He who called is faithful. So, what are you waiting for? Grab your goggles and lets go off the high dive…Cannonball!!
Matt. 14:29-31 (NIV)

“Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” 31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

Hebrews 12:2  (The message)
 Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed – that exhilarating finish in and with God – he could put up with anything along the way: cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God.


2 thoughts on “The deep end

  1. katiefish <> says:

    Great post. Hang on a minute, I'll get my goggles. But I warn you that I'm not as great at cannonballs as I am at belly flops! Let's go!

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