Small Ball – a reminder

I realize it has been a couple of months since you’ve heard from me. There are a few reasons for this. Mostly because I’ve been dealing with a sticky situation and have found myself unmotivated and thwarted in my writing. I’ve allowed this person to rob me of my joy and my freedom. So without going into any detail, I’ll ask for you forgiveness for my absence and hope you will come back and spend some time on the couch with me. I’m really looking forward to some great conversation and hearing about what God has been doing in your life.

I’m reposting this blog called “Small Ball” mostly because that is exactly what I’ve been dealing with lately. Drop me a comment here or on my facebook page – I’d love to hear from you.

Also, you’ll notice some changes here on the couch. I’m working to implement my therapy website with my blog. I’m not done yet…so bare with me there’s more change coming!

If you have been living for more than a few years you have probably been wounded at least once in your life by a friend, co- worker, family member or even someone from church.

The question is how do you respond when you’ve been hurt?

Do you make sure everyone within the city limits and beyond knows you have been hurt sparing no detail, or do you take your heart to the one who created you and allow Him to knit it back together?

Many years ago while serving in full time ministry I had some hard, hurtful things said to me. The comments were inaccurate, inappropriate and out of context. The person who I thought I could trust, threw me under the bus on nothing more than hear say.

I had to make a decision.

Would I take this situation to the court of public opinion and let those around me know exactly what went down in an attempt to clear my name, or would I go to the Lord and trust that He would take care of my reputation and my heart?

I chose to trust God.

My husband and I made a pact after this incident. We call it refusing to play “small ball”. What does that mean? Simply put, we don’t go there. We don’t play the get even game.

Small ball is exhibiting the very behavior that was hurtful and offensive in the first place.

To not play small ball means making a conscious decision not to air my grievances with others in the public arena. It means not fishing for information, not talking to people about “hypothetical situations” and not trying to clear my name or save my reputation.

God knows my heart, my intentions and my desires. If my motives are pure than I can rest knowing that God is on the throne and therefore I don’t have to try to do His job.

Instead, I take these hurts to the cross and allow God to meet me there, heal me and show me what my response if any should be.

Choosing not to play small ball is not a short cut, and it is not easy. Following I’ve listed a few consequences for engaging in the game of small ball:

1. When we have been hurt we seek comfort. We seek this from people rather than turning our hearts toward the Lord. Our God is a jealous God and He wants our undivided affection.

2. When a friend or family member has hurt us, we often want to retaliate. This is non productive and almost always makes the situation worse.

3. When we seek justice in the court of public opinion, we demonstrate a lack of maturity. When we are more interested in “outing” the other person under the guise of justice, we discount the redemptive power of God.

4. When we pursue dealing with our personal wounds in a public arena we deny God the opportunity to heal and restore us and settle for well meaning words from friends and family.

5. When we look to have our interpersonal injuries dealt with in public, we miss out on the opportunity to learn and grow from the experience and potentially miss the lesson that God had for us.

When you are tempted to play Small Ball how does that make you feel? How do you think the other person is going to feel? Take a minute and pray for the person on the receiving end before you take action.


2 thoughts on “Small Ball – a reminder

  1. KM says:

    Going through this RIGHT NOW, so your words could not be more timely. I’ve done the small ball too, and with God’s help, starting RIGHT NOW, I will put that ball away. Hurt will make me want to pick it up again, but I’m constantly shooting up prayers to keep me on the right track, the track where I’m letting God be God–in control and the one who works things for good for those who trust Him. Thanks Karen. 

    • KAREN COOK says:

      Thanks for stopping by. You know – in the moment of hurt/pain the hardest thing to do is nothing. I pray that you will experience great peace as you surrender to God the issues that are causing you pain with another.  
      Grace & Peace to you today….

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